We fear grief as a wave that sweeps
Everything
And lays bare the bones of ourselves
Aching and open
Unclothed of the busyness we've stitched to cover up
Our nakedness
And it comes with a depth and weight
A flood that surpasses
Overwhelms
Submerges our most valiant efforts
Our grimmest clingings
And with them
The fragile fake skyscrapers
That excused our unused wings
And let us reach heaven
With unhallowed feet.
How I wish that that parched sands of waiting
Were elsewhere than the path pulling at my feet
If it could only rain, that I could slog through the mud of blessings
Or be swept away in landslides
A chance to rest my feet
To catch my breathe
And remain uncaught by step
After heart-heavy step
Into the unknown
They say faith is a leap
Then what is gravity
But crushing inevitability
That once you leave earth
The only way back is down
If I had four walls I'd wrap me in them like a cloak
And huddle
Anything but this endless middle
This endless muddle
In between myself
And the story my heart longs to say
And yet
Sometimes wilderness calls us
Because only in the gentle crunch
Endlessly eating at the future
Can fill your belly with need
With expectation
They say faith is a leap
But faith is really a pregnant belly
That you carry through heavy months
And when you put it down
You find in your arms
More than you'd ever have words to hold anyway.