Truth is at it's loudest
When it's from the heart
In all honesty
Honesty is honest from the start

You may not believe it
But I don't believe in miracles
Side of the road
Kiss all your worries good bye
Sometimes you need
To get caught in the rain
Before you realise
You've been hiding till
The sun goes away.

I don't think it's a
Kind of simple yes or no
To go and change
Or stay and grow
Tomorrow's questions
Are too hard to know

I used to dream of floating free
Break the chains, no cost to me
But now I find it's harder
Sometimes consequences just have to be.

One day I woke up a child
The next I was a different man
Cut out from another can
Drifting from the older me
Pain and sorrow change nothing
But the glasses that you use to see

I used to dream of floating free
Break the chains, no cost to me
But now I find it's harder
Sometimes consequences just have to be.

Trust

Small and fragile
Beautiful
A delicate egg of promise
Once broken never healed
Nurture it
Hold it close
To your warm heart
And watch it grow.

I Hate Microsoft

There you are.

Need to vent.

Just lost

EVERYTHING

That I did today for science tomorrow.

Everythign.


3 hours worth of work.

Gone.

Even though i've been saving it as I go.

The program crashes and .... amazingly, all my progress (saves inclusive) have gone down the drain..



MAN I'm annoyed.

And I totally have no time to do it all again.

Oh my children!
Oh precious lambs broken
On vicious rocks!
How I long to bleed for you
Bind up your bleeding wounds
Gather up and carry you
To where
There is life

Oh my children
I bleed for your pain
Your aloneness
Your broken smiles
And empty promises
Every "I'm OK"
Every fear-strained day
Oh my children
Let me help you.

Jesus

God's way of saying
You are forgiven
All of your black sin
And hate and anguish
Go now
Live life alive
And sin no more.

Hollow Girl (The Darkness of the Day)

She sees through the mirror
And through her insides
Breathing through the sound
Of a hidden heart tearing

But she's OK
On the outside atleast
Ink bleeds through her veins
Scribbling out the pain

Turn back the pages
Where it all went wrong
Out in the darkness of the day
And oh so alone

They took from you
What you could never give
In return, only guilt
You made it home, alone.

In the house's echoes
Love is running dry
You're longing out the windows
But they only cloud up

There's a tremor in your eye
Punch drunk on pain
And so alone
Are you one of them?
Are you only skin deep?

Out in the darkness of the day
Out of arm's reach
The ink bleeds black in your veins
You are crying on the phone
And oh so alone.

Love is saying
I want to know you
Cuts and bruises
So you can heal

Tears patter
On dusty panels
The floor doesn't
Quite hold together
Could be the sound
Of a heart quietly breaking

On MSN

Shadow Simon says:
somewhere along the way
Shadow Simon says:
you've lost sight of who you are
Shadow Simon says:
and you lost the words to say
Shadow Simon says:
to let you out, set you free
Shadow Simon says:
somewhere along the way
Shadow Simon says:
you confused your diamonds
Shadow Simon says:
for broken glass

It's hard
Being innocent
Until proven guilty

Looking Back

The house of cards collapsed
She wasn’t there
I sent her far away

But eyes pierce like lies
Holding hands
And crossing tee’s

I knew what she would say

Denial, is a look in the mirror
When your eyes blink closed
You see true

You see through

Just myself, and guilty warmth
Dying embers, dying light
Weak hands

She wasn’t there
I sent her away
I couldn’t care to think
Cannot bear to blink
With reminders plastered up
On those dark walls.

The house of cards came down
The circus was in town
Did you want to go?

Say no and I’ll understand
Even though you won’t

She wasn’t there
Hanging like an angel
From a clothes-hook
I never would have
She wasn’t there!

Why so unsorry?

Replacing love with walls
Only buries you
The house of cards collapsed.

In the quiet of the day
When your mind dwells
On other things
That sin slips under your skin
And stabs the daggers in.

Can you not see
That people would rather
Befriend a person
Than an ideal?

Don't ever be so afraid of letting them down
That you don't even let them in.

Know This

For where I've
Crossed the line
I'm sorry
I meant nothing more
Than the image of God
To reach with love
To the lost and broken
To give encouragement
To the down and out

I am but
A fallen man
At heart
May God strike
Straight blows
With such a
Crooked stick.
Bless His Name
Forever.

Peace

An eventful week.

In such
Is the steel of faith
Forged.

Vulnerable

Trust
Such a little word
To have so much weight
Dangling from its shoulders
A single syllable
And yet such grim fate
Retionships doomed
To never growing older

Trust
The sound of a heart extended
Beating helpless, frantic
A lamb to the knife
It's breaking is friendships ended
A gulf swallows the Atlantic
On the teetering cliff-face
Of a wounded life

Trust
Is the pure undefiled
Reaching out with empty hands
To say "Here I am"
Peeling back the calloused shells
Of half-healed cuts and bruises
Letting the sun shine sweep
Onto private frozen hells
At risk of getting burned.
Trust

It's Funny

How sleep slips through your grasp
Like bear-hugging an eel
Only to mug you when you aren't looking.

Funny how
Life never takes itself seriously

Don't blame me
For sticking up for you
When you don't.

My New Hobby

Starting MSN conversations with lines that rhyme with the person's sign in name

Don't stumble through the darkness
Just to prove you don't need light.

Burdens

Walk alone
Pull your weight
Suffer in silence

Jesus

"Come to me
In your weariness
In suffering silence
I will give you rest"

Mr Goris

Old man on a high hill
The winds of passion whisper still
Hunched and full of things to say
He fills the silence with wisdom

Call the Lost
Sheep Belong
Together

Bleat your pain
We huddle
Keep you warm.

Cut off your feet
To walk
Cut out your tongue
To talk
Cut off your hands
To pull you up

It hurts so much
Why do it?

Eternity

I'm glad I don't have to live
For eternity in a broken world
I think living here forever
A life full of almost-but-not-quite's
Would kill me.

And so the Despicable Slide Into Inanity Continues Unabated

Your face
Smells like shoes
Deal with it!

Women

They are either violent or crazy
Or both
Or all three put together

Follow the eyes
See through the lies.

Dear Sir/Madam

Your face!

That is all.

Christmas is a time
Of bringing everyone together
So they can be reminded
Why they hate each other

Emo Chick

She dresses her mind all in black
And thinks heavy thoughts
She cries because she thinks she should
But the her I think of
Wears a smile.

It's your faults
That make your perfection
So unique

Broken hearts
Angel's wings
Sing to God
Even pain
Is a healing thing

I laugh
You laugh
They laugh
No one shed's a tear
Everyone cries

Lines in the sand
Sand in your eyes
Nobody plays fair

An Evening to Wonder

It's only at night
That quiet sounds come out
The muffled cries of doomed hopes
Swallowed by the dark
Hugging the grim spaces
Between ripe overhead lights.

A rustling, strolling breeze
Whispers through the trees
And passes on
In the heavy distance
A dog howls furiously
At its echo.

It's only at night
I can sit wrapped in silence
Of weighty, slippery thoughts,
To hear the tactile roar
Of the road pushing a car along.
Marvel,
At what delicate perfection
Perches on the shoulder
Of the evening

Only In Dreams

She's only sleeping
Deep and even
The whispers of a life
Still lived
Steam under the hoot
Guilt beneath a furrowed brow
What secrets dance
Beneath fluttered eyelids?

She climbs tall mountains
Especially if you tell her "no"
Bloody knuckles,
Frozen feet
Grim victories
And harsher defeats
But sometimes she only holds
For fear of letting go.

Have confidence
The weak
Are inside out
In Christ

Is he or isn't he?
Only you can see
Yours are the only
Eyes that find him
In the deep gloom
Where the bottles sing
You know the answers
Don't hide in the dark
Is he or isn't he?
That's all I can ask.

Girl
When you push me away
When you don't know what to say
Afraid the darkness will shine through
I'll take a stand for you.

Girl
If it sounds like forgiveness
There's no need to run
There's no starting gun, and no
Prize for pushing through.

Girl
If you ask me to stand back
And watch your sinking ship
I'll dive right in and brave
Those screaming waves for you.

Girl
Forgiveness once offered
Will be received
How can I turn a blinded eye
Onto your hour of need?

Girl
Forgiveness tastes like tears
Like the falling away of years
Salt waterfalling off the gleaming tail
A dolphin breaking free.


You are forgiven
Go in peace.

Every new morning
Is the promise of forgiveness
For yesterday.

I see you there
Scratching away
At the thin skin
Of a new day
It feels like pain
To me.

Why so young and so afraid?
You've time yet before shadows grow brave
And darkness fails to fade
And whiteness pales to grey

Stained blood glues sticky to his hands
The pain of love he understands
Bet too afraid to run from fear
What he has made followed him here
Inside the trenches of his mind
Nobody laughs, nobody cries
Stare out the void of noman's land
To where the broken figure stands
And by the light of falling death
He sees himself for the first last time.

Frightened soldier drops his gun
Before the wore even begun
He runs beneath the falling sun
Beneath the cry "what have I done?"

And so she crouched
Just a stone's throw from happiness
Atleast she could rely on gravity

Slip. The swish of sandals
A silent symphony
That sashays down the sidewalk
With snaking sophistry
So they say, you slip away
To the satis-factory.

Envy

Inside the taste of emerald
That plays on the tongue
All copper and tin
When the green eyed woman steps in
You are trussed like a child
Confused and powerless
Beneath her jade gaze
You are what you have become
Green-fingered and hollow

We all paint pictures
And pose for photos
But if you look close enough
You can really see us.

Humility

Not throwing yourself
In the clinging mud
But the realisation
You've been there all along.

There's no waking up
A child of grace
And thinking
I've done it
I killed the dragon
Spat into the Devil's face
Sit back, relax, sleep

Just see your face
In the mirror gritty
With reality
To see him hiding
Deep in your shadow
Waiting to trip and tear.
And you've still earned nothing
No freedom
No future
No life
But a gift
Grace
The life preserver
That always floats
And never lets go.

He grinned at me
Just now.

The Devil's Grin

The Devil's grin
Is a gaping crater
A deathly hole
Where light rays
Stretch to hold hands
And are swallowed whole.
His laughter the echo
Of stone on bone
Grinding gears of eternity
The certainty of cold

The Devil smiles at me
In spine-chilling moments
I stray footloose
From the rocky path
I can hear his raspy breath
A person being sawed in half
No mirrors, no illusions
Just the certainty of gravity.

The Devil hides, a tiger
With baited breath
And rotting teeth
Stalking, creeping, seething death
Straining at the fraying leash
Snapping like a broken bone
Screaming like a broken heart
Raging like a broken home
He more than all of these
And less

The Devil talks in slippery lies
Eels that bite and paralyse
In poison slowly gripping
Your soul. Drips, dripping
Bleeds you weak and soon for dead
Takes up rent inside your head

And oh the laughing
The hollow echo of stone on bone
Grinding gears of eternity
The clammy cold of certainty,
In the universe. You. Are.
Alone.

The Devil looms over me
Like a mountain to an ant
Only
It's not me he has to beat;
God
Shakes him like a rat
And he flees squealing to the black
All hate, and baited, rotting breath.

Names are like cars
Once you notice one
It seems every man and his dog
Has it.

Teardrop shatters
At the speed of sound
Composure scatters
Like leaves in the wind
Left alone
Your hollow heart
Migrating
To the lump in your throat.

Freedom
Rushing through your hair
Freefall

Fears and Cares

No never
Not ever
No chance
In hell
Give him up?
Pull the other one
Got some other
Joke to tell?

But what if he
Is drowning you
What else am I
Supposed to do
Whatch your slowly
Sink through the blue?
I can't.

No way
He is my
True lifeline
I won't give up
What now is mine
Another way
You'll have to find!

Is gravity not sinking in?
If your lifeline drags you down
Maybe you've got to let go
So you can swim.

I can't.

By the Broken Guide

Have no words
Think away
And yet no thought
Of what to say
Go and throw
The drink away
Not today
Not today

Cannot speak
So I will pray
And live the words
I cannot say
Oh why can't I
When it's so plain
Voice the pain
Make it plain

Still no words
But "Be brave"
"Be strong! Fight on!
Free the slave!"
Blood will flow
And tears will pave
To the grave?
To the waves?

Where the sea
And sand collide
Free the sodden
Thirst parched mind
But what treasure
Will I find?

All that glitters is not gold
All the youth are growing old
Before their time, out in the cold
No one doing what they're told

Have no words
Laugh and play
Have you no thought
Beyond today.
Beyond what other
People say.
Not today
Not today

I'll take you where
There's air to breathe
If you ever
Want to leave
Broken guide and
Haunted dreams
So it seems
So it seems

All that glitters is not gold
Why so young and yet so old?
Have you let your fears grow bold?

I can see
The shadows play
Away in a Manger
Yes, so far away
You wanted in
But not today
I mean,
What would you say?

She dresses herself up
Like a frown
But sometimes
A smile breaks out
Like the sun tearing free
Of clinging clouds

The Nerd

Every morning he wakes up
And boots up his life

Orange on blues
The sun kissed
The earth goodnight
And tucked the sea
In bed.

Even in the dark
I know He holds
Your hand

Wake up
To gentle sounds
Rain tapping on the windows
To say hello

Don't pick and choose
You got the Monday blues

Idiot.

Don't you just hate
Those conversations
Where every word you say
Makes you look more and more
A total Idiot.

Why is my chest so heavy?
Sometimes I swear
I keep hanging weights
On my heart.

They try to pick you up
And slap you in the face
Kick you in the head
Nobody deserves a perfect nose
But the one you had grows
On you

Atleast
In the mirror
When you smile everyone does
Paint the streets in love
And celebrate the endings
Wave your flags and shopping bags

I often put my foot in my mouth
But I find it easier to breathe that way.

Abi

She shines like the sun
Though she looks away
And it hurts
Oh it hurts
Like the birth of the day
The birds will sing
They'll shout in pain
She's beautiful and comatose
And starting to wake.

Driving in cars
Rain fogged windscreen
Cramped legs and squashed music

We may be in mud
But we stand on our own two feet

Taste a smile
Walk a mile
In happiness shoes

What does it mean to be God?

To love the unlovable
To forgive the unforgivable
To listen for our every breath
To walk beside us in pain
To carry us through
The savage waves of defeat
And set our tender feet
Softly on the other side.

You'll tear yourself
Trying to let go
If you insist on hanging on
As well

New Pickup line: Or Something

You have the biggest most beautiful potato eyes I have ever seen...

Shadow-wrapped eyes
And blinking surprise
You haven't slept a wink

She won't cry at night
Because she's scared He's watching
She won't take His hand
Because she's scared He's only faking
Or a fake.

Jesus loves you
This I know
For He came and told me so
He is waiting at the door
What is it you're waiting for?

Jesus loves us
No one can be
Less deserving of it than me
I've stabbed His back repeatedly
And yet...
I'm always forgiven.

Forgiveness is a wakeup
When conscience starts to beep
Forgiveness is a road fork
A different path to keep
Forgivness is a night light
When the shadows start to creep
Forgiveness is a blanket
I lay me down to sleep

And In Breaking News

I decided to nip home for a Nana nap just now. Only as I was hopping onto my bed, I seem to have broken it. Completely. Shattered would be a more fitting descriptor.
Both the one I sleep in and the bunk beneath it.

Oh dear.

Sadness

Sometimes
Tears seem dry
And clog
Like sand in your eyes
So the pain build up
Inside

Sometimes
Time heals no wounds
Yet only fresh blood
Fresh cuts
Make it feel
Alright

Sometimes
You die a little more
When you carry the weight
Of a smile
Of a fake
All night

Sometimes
It's better to cry
Than shed a tear
Though the sand cuts
Though lines on your arms
Run red

Sometimes
It's tough to believe
That He will wipe away
Every tear
When you can't
Find them yourself.

Ear to the ground
Nothing left
But the rounded sound
Swelling air
Beating, hammering
On your eardrum
The bomb went off
The world went down

Sorting Your Schtuff Out

Now I learn why it's better to put everything in books.

Trying to sort through loose leaf bits of pseudo-poetry I have strewn in a huge pile for 'filing' away, and work out what stuff I've copied to my books and/or onto my blog is a rediculous process that is inherrantly not made of win.

With nothing to occupy you
And something on your mind
The days are one long grind.

In a land of dollars
No one sees sense.

Zimbabwe

You shed blood and tears
It amounts to nothing
The bucket has a hole in it
You just get along
That's the problem
You want the whole sandpit
Just let Mugabe have his bit
Too.

We all fall down
Like statues in the rain
We don't admit to pain
As it erodes who we are.

No one paints a ceiling
To watch it burn
But she hangs her head
In the fire.

Strange
The way paving lifts
As though repulsed
At the earth beneath
Or maybe it's from clawing
At passing feet
To drag us down below.

I can pile reality
Up in a heap
But I can't find my keys

Patience is

Remaining
Silent
Still
When the spiders
Are crawling up your back.

Velvet

Wise cracks and ankle shots
I can't get through this door
Take it to the countertop
It beeps as they charge more.
But you say "Go, go
We can't hold back everything
Can't even hold our breaths."

Teen-sad redeemer
Aloof, alone, alive
Chained to your cell phone
It sparkles like a knife
And you say "Go, go!
What you say is what you mean
What you say is death"

Take a sprinkle of laughter
Throw it in the bad
Thunderstruck and bullet-shy
It hurts to stab a good man
In the eye.
And you say "Go, go!
The camera's got our memories
And we can't hold on
We can't hold on."

How Pages are Like the Universe

Sometimes when you try to put
More colour in it than it can hold
It rips.

Sad Teddy

Raise a cry against the gathering
Screaming at those firmly grasped hands
They turn their backs, send their farewells
With store-bought cake and icing words
You are left voiceless and on display.

He won't stand tall
A glowing redeemer
As sunset slowly dies
That doesn't mean he won't
Try.